My fortress walls are mighty… … (Mascularium Edition)

Back from my time off, and ready to… type?

Anyway, as my life has been going through the changes that are required to create the next leader and master of the human race (We found out that she will be a woman, now you know too!), I have lucked into having a room to do as I please with. No, I can’t explain how gaining a little person in my life has magically created another room in my house, so don’t ask!

As I was say, I have many plans to make this my new base of operations for all the terrible things I intended to inflict on this world… … Like this blog! Many men and women alike have said things equating to,”Oh, you get your own Man Cave.” To this, I say NO! The word Man Cave sends me visions of either a big gutted man hunched over, and balding only lit by the glow of a flat screen petting his beer can hat (You know, those construction hats with the tubes, yeah, you know) whispering “my precious” in the back of a cave… Or, a gay night club (I ripped that off of Last Man Standing, btw).

Either is fine, but I do not want to go to either of those places, thus I shall create a MASCULARIUM (If you are reading this out loud make sure you wave your hand in dramatic, visionary fashion when you say this, for effect).

Mascularium (mass-cul-air-e-m):

The essence of a man cave and an evil lair combined. A place for men that have evolved past the need for caves to do manly things, like read comics, play video games, enjoy adult beverages, learn martial arts, enjoy internet porn, and any other manly pursuit (Including the fun stuff done in the devolved man cave; like grow full, lush beards).

In a sentence:

After, no longer being able to stand the smell of vomit and sweaty testicles of Joe’s man cave, we went to my mascularium and I totally crushed those other suckers in a game of CoD while alternating between Jager and energy drink shots.

So, you get the idea, now if you are like me, sick of the cave, make sure you let others know that you have evolved and are now in a mascularium.


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