The good ol’ boobtube, the American center piece, nothing like dragging yourself home after a long day in the salt mines plopping down and letting its stories ease your aching feet and aching soul. What could be better?
Um, a lot of stuff, I know that we have grown attached to the old set, even though most of you more than likely have bought a new one in the last couple years, but do we really need it?
I am not saying that you waste your $1000 on that 55″ LED with built-in coffee maker (well, maybe I am saying that a little), what I am trying to say is that maybe it is time to say a found fair well to broadcast TV, and cable/dish. There are just better routes, hook up a cheap computer of just about any kind to that whiz-bang picture box get a wireless mouse and keyboard, run internet to that sucker, and you have got a movie watching, soap staring power house! I gave up the habit years ago, and haven’t looked back. I mean come on, most cable networks have a streaming website, Hulu.com rocks tacos when it comes to a variety of movies and for roughly ten bucks more you can get even more, or Netflix for $8 monthly gives you enough viewable content for you couch potatoes to take root. Those are just the websites that I can think off the top of my head.
But, wait you say, I have to watch my shows! Most of these options only let me watch a week after they have aired, people would say things, I would be out of the loop, MY LIFE WOULD LOSE ALL MEANING!!! To this I say, is that week REALLY worth the $30 you pay (I really have no idea how much it costs)?
There is also so many better things to do, spring is on its way, you should be enjoying the weather, go to a one of the many festivals that are starting, can’t find one? Start one, after all if there is none in the area people must be starving for funnel cake and flat beer(or soda for our underage readers)! Friends, family, random strangers you meet while wandering the park drunk on flat soda, they are all waiting for YOU, and if you are going to be that crazy shut-in with all the cats at least do something more important like reading amazing blogs (not that I can think of any).
Finally, the biggest reason that I HATE TV (broadcast/cable/dish) is those damn commercials! Web commercials are normally under 2 minutes for the WHOLE show, TV commercials seem to happen more often than the show that you are trying to watch. It is almost as if, back in the day Mommy Shopping Channel got with Daddy Regular Programming, and they loved each other very much, then one day they had a baby mutant channel, born with half of daddies entertaining show genes, and half with mommies amazing products but the poor mutant, which we will call Ted (*shrug*), now has can’t show entertaining shows because his mutant genes painfully twist him into commercials for every minute of programing. Ted, you poor mutant bastard, now you just show the newest ultra heart-attack burger from McTummy’s and Jersey Shores marathons. Please folks, do a kindness to baby Ted, stop watching.
*This rant was sponsored by the Council to End Baby Ted’s suffering.
If you would like to know more about converting your TV into an E-TV, or if you disagree shout me a comment on this post!