So, you got that brand spank’n new tech, you hook it up to a screen or turn it on and what is the first thing you see? Not the super-awesomeness that you paid for, but a wet blanket that points all the things that you can’t do, and if you do them what will happen, not that you are going to read it, no the awesomeness is just an “I AGREE” click away and who understand what they are talking about anyway?
We have all hit this wall, only a few of us ever bother to read the EULA, and even less understand what they just read. I have always suspected that if I could keep awake long enough to read the entire contract and if I could download into my head the knowledge to understand it, that there is somewhere that would stipulate my soul as collateral. Turns out in at least one case, I was right! I had actually read about this a while back, and finally dragged up another reference to a certain UK retailers shenanigans. As an April fools joke the company GameStation worked into the Term of Service agreement (basically the same as the EULA) that if you agreed, they got your immortal soul… Forever… let’s just say that if GameStation would not have let everyone know that they where just kidding, then they could easily open several franchises in hell without having to pay El Diablo’s insane temp service fees (Come on, you knew temp services started in hell). I found another website that also pulled a prank on those who don’t read the fine print, I have put the links to both articles at the bottom of this post.
While the April Fools thing was pretty funny (Man, there are a lot of fools), the whole EULA thing kinda pisses me off. End User License Agreement, End User? As in, end of the road, last person whose lap we drop this crap in? I am the first F@%#’n user! Your product doesn’t mean anything without me buying the stupid thing, if corporations worship the All Mighty Dollar, then we are the damn Ministers of their faith reaching into our wallets and give them the sacrament that they so desire!
So, for the next few Fridays, I am going to try to find new interesting facts about how EULA’s allow the puppet masters to control our lives. What if I don’t find anything INTERESTING, you say? Why then I will post something boring with a lot of exciting implications… No, I will just move on, but I know of a few things that I would like to bring up, I just want to check the facts first.